I ate Hash browns for supper, covered
in fresh chunky home made salsa. (That sounds like a worthy Facebook
update right there if ever there was one) Yet, I know there are
those who would set me straight on this. In their great zeal and out
of shepherding concern, yea for the sole purpose of saving me from
the barbarosity of myself, they would point out the following; that
when a potato has been desecrated by knife or chopper, and then fried
into a moderately cohesive pancake, the resultant item is to be
consumed at breakfast, which is the meal that coincides with the
rising of the sun. Furthermore, they would point out that ketchup,
not salsa, is the condiment of choice. To this, I say that they are
truly missing out on a good and tasty experience, especially when the
salsa is fresh! And while I might be able to persuade some of the
less jaded of their number of this, they would invariably revert back
to their mantra of, “But, hash browns are breakfast food!” While
I will agree to disagree, I get it... or do I?
Riddle me this then, oh guardians of
culinary etiquette. If the same staple tuber were to be desecrated
and prepared in exactly the same (though somewhat coarser) manner,
yet the remnant scraps remain separate and unconnected from each
other when the time for eating has come, why then would they be
deemed appropriate only for consumption at any time OTHER than
breakfast? We would call these French Fries (or simply 'fries') on
this side of the pond, whilst the British would staunchly declare
them to be 'chips', but both parties would agree that these spuds are
not breakfast fare. The only way to eat discrete pieces of fried
potato for breakfast without risking accusatory glares or gasps of
exasperation is to squish the shredded roots back together before
frying, and call them tater tots. And yet, all the while we are
talking about potatoes that were cut into strips, then fried before
they met their uniformly ignominious demise. Hash browns vs. fries
(chips) vs. tater tots... who decides when these things should be
eaten? More importantly, who cares?!
For that matter, why is a potato cooked
whole not appropriate for breakfast, while one that has been cubed,
is? And don't even get me started on when they get pulverized beyond
anything resembling their original form (mashed) or sliced thinly and
baked (scalloped), for these too are reserved for evening, or at the
very least, mid day... I used to think the thinly sliced ones were
called 'scalped potatoes' because it looked like some sadistic Apache
raiding party had had their way with them some time before they found
their way to my plate. It's a good thing they had always been
peeled, or as a young tot I might have been traumatized by those
lifeless eyes staring up at me, pleading.
 |
| Decidedly NOT Mr. Potato Head |
At this point, I will admit that I have
hopelessly digressed. Suffice it to say that it felt fully
appropriate to consume hash browns after dark. There are, in fact,
several good reasons for this, and the earnest food police may kindly
take their criticism elsewhere.
Most import among these reasons is that
the supper was very kindly prepared for me by Charlie, who had, quite
literally, been instrumental in the preparation of the salsa. He
chopped and diced the onions, bell peppers, jalapenos, serranos, and
who knows what else to make that good stuff a reality. And after
hours of doing that, he also made sure we would not go hungry. Thus,
the potatoes AND the salsa were both due in large part to his
efforts.
For those of you who have not met our
eldest, I can assure you that he fits in well with the rest of the
siblings. That is to say, he looks decidedly less Caucasian than
either my wife or I. Perhaps it is best to use his own words to
describe himself. He once declared, “I am Asian-American, a real
rice and potatoes kind of guy!!” Perhaps that goes far in
explaining the hash browns. Either way, Thank you for supper,
Charlie!
